Friday, April 22, 2011;10:58 PM
Hi blog miss you much~
Just having the urge and feel to type down something here today.
People who have been my friends since secondary school may know that my friendship has not always been the best. Being betrayed by 2 of my best friends during secondary 2 was definitely not the thing anyone of you would want to experience. The feeling of betrayal was nasty. It was devastating. It was hurting. It was every single nasty feelings that you could think and feel of.
I managed to walk out from the darkest day. I made new friends which i thought wouldn't betray me or turn their backs on me. I thought they would be different. I thought they could accept me for who i am. I thought they would be my real friends. But i was wrong. The same thing happened. It was me, all alone again. It was even more devastating. It was like shit.
Not until i met Silvana, i started believing that friendship still exist. She's still the best of the best even till now. But that doesn't mean i trusted everyone. I still have the fear of being betrayed again. This was the thing which had been haunting my dreams for the past few years. Yes, it had a great impact on me. I'm afraid of losing anymore friends. I'm afraid of being stranded alone once again. I'm afraid of having to face the same thing all over again.
Ever since, every time when i make new friends, deep in my heart, i wish that they could be with me forever. I cherish them a lot and no one could tell how much they meant to me. I'm afraid i would lose them again like what i did twice in the past. So sometimes i tend to think too much which lead to negative thoughts and i would be afraid all over again.
But anyway, thanks to all those people who betrayed me years ago. Without the betrayals, i wouldn't know what are real friends and what are true friends. I believe that i have friends who are far better than yours now because they are the one who will accompany me for the rest of my life. Furthermore, without the betrayals, i wouldn't have met my TRUE friends.
Bye peeps :)
P R O F I L E
